I stumbled across the room to turn off my alarm. Normally I’d immediately begin getting ready for my day… go pee, brush my teeth, drink tea or a pre-workout drink, run or complete a workout at home, shower, get ready for work, drink coffee and then work until I’m pulled away from my computer. Real exciting stuff.
But today was different. I made my way back to bed after turning off my alarm… something that never happens. I curled up next to Eddie and whispered happy five years of living in Hawaii.
Five years ago we left home in San Diego, said see you later to our family and hopped on a plane headed to Honolulu. The plan was to spend a year (or two) in Hawaii and the reason was to be closer to my first and only niece (now I have 3 nieces & 2 nephews!) but that “plan” went out the window when we realized how much we love this place. A one-year adventure has turned into a 5-year dream come true. A dream I didn’t even know I had but every time I explore another corner of this island I’m reminded of the unreal beauty of this place. It’s truly a dream. Minus the traffic, bugs and high cost of living, it’s a dream. I don’t mean to sound negative or ungrateful but I had to go there.
I’ve been sitting at my desk for hours looking through old photos, reading archived blog posts, crying and trying to find the words to describe how I’m feeling right now. But the words are lost somewhere between the beautiful memories we’ve made over the past years and the painful distance that separates us from our family. It’s such a weird mix of emotions but the ones that lead the pack are joy and gratitude.
The past five years have been an absolute adventure and so much more than I could have ever expected or “planned”. So much has changed, so much has gotten better, I’ve learned so much about myself, I’m still super emotional and on the verge of anxiety attacks most of the time but still, I’ve grown and discovered things that only Hawaii could have shown me. I’m excited to see what adventure we get to experience next but today and for as long as I possibly can I want to take in the beauty, love and aloha vibes of this island.
AS I READ THROUGH OLD BLOG POSTS I CAME ACROSS THIS ONE…. WRITTEN EXACTLY FIVE YEARS AGO 12/06/2011
The husband and I leave for Hawaii in a few hours. I don’t know how to explain what I feel but the last time I remember feeling like this was the morning that Eddie and I got married. The whole thing felt UNREAL. I’m happy but I’m nervous. Very nervous. At this exact moment, the world feels still and my fingers are cold as I type on my parent’s keyboard. Everything is packed and ready to go and my heart is floating around somewhere in the pit of my stomach. Lili and Lola are standing beside me and my mother is probably making hot tea and reminding herself to be strong throughout the day. Truth is, she and I will fall apart even before we head to the airport. Psssshhh, I’m already crying as I type this . Yea, this is going to be tough.
There are so many people I will miss but I†am†not†saying†goodbye. I stopped believing in goodbyes a long time ago so this is more of a “see you later. and in the meantime, i’ll be missing you” type thing. The blog will be a little quiet for some time until I can get organized but I will still be on Twitter, Facebook and I’ll be responding to all emails as I normally do so feel free to stop by and say what’s up, hello, que onda or you know, aloha. I’m still shooting weddings in California and will be visiting often next year so if you’re getting married in California, Hawaii or any other fabulous place around the world, I can’t wait to hear from you and see what we can create in 2012! If you are one of my friends or family peeps reading this, just know that I miss you already. Email, Facebook, Twitter, text and letters people. Let’s keep in touch because my heart needs you… see ya’ll later! *hugs* Hawaii, here we come! Hope you’re ready.