This post is pulled from a recent call with my group coaching clients about why the stop/start cycle keeps so many women stuck, and how consistency, clear standards, and staying in it long enough are what actually create progress.
This short clip comes from that conversation, specifically where I was sharing about hitting day 200 of my run streak!
Here are some of the main themes that came out of that conversation.
Why the Stop/Start Cycle Finally Ended
When I look back at my fitness journey (running, lifting, yoga… all of it) it surprises me how much struggle there was, and for so long! The interesting thing is that the issue was never that I wasn’t working hard or that I didn’t ‘want it bad enough.’
The problem was the pattern I kept repeating.
I was stuck in a vicious ‘stop/start’ cycle for over a decade. I would go all in, push really hard, see some progress and then stop. Hard Stop. Then I’d restart again with new energy, new expectations, and usually a new plan.
But every time I restarted, I was also resetting my momentum. That blows my mind, I see it so clearly now but at the time? I had no idea. I never gave my progress a chance to compound, I kept tapping out and “taking breaks” before the work even had time to settle!
That’s when things changed: It wasn’t until I learned to STAY. IN. IT. long enough to actually allow my body to adapt and change.
Consistency Isn’t Sexy, But It Works
Call it cliche if you want, but it isn’t about perfect execution or constant motivation, it’s about good ol’ boring-ass REPETITION.
Day in, day out. Over and over again.
The boring basics (intentional movement, plant-based nutrition, a plan and the right mindset) across good days, bad days, sad days, hard days… all the days!
The reason consistency gets such a bad reputation is because it’s boring, and yea, consistency is boring. It’s not flashy, it’s not exciting, and it doesn’t give you constant feedback that you’re “doing it right.” But it’s the bridge between aimless bouts of effort and the results we’re after. The boring basics.
The problem is that we’ve been conditioned to expect progress to feel motivating, energizing, and dramatic, but real progress is subtle. It’s quiet. It builds and grows on regular days, on days when nothing feels special, and on days when you’re tempted to quit simply because it feels unremarkable.
The Lies We Tell Ourselves
One thing that became really clear in this call is how often people wait to feel confident before they allow themselves to commit. Not just to the gym, but to anything that requires consistency. We tell ourselves we’ll take it seriously once we feel more ready, more capable, more sure of ourselves.
I call B.S. on all that. The order is backwards.
Confidence doesn’t arrive first.
Confidence is BUILT after you’ve shown up enough times to gather evidence that you can handle it. It comes from repetition, from fumbling through the early stages, from asking questions you think you “should already know,” and from staying when it would be easier to quietly back out.
What I see over and over again, in running, training, nutrition, and body recomposition, is that people don’t lack ability. They lack time spent staying with the same thing long enough to trust themselves.
This is where things go sideways. The moment something feels awkward, unclear, or uncomfortable, they assume that’s a sign they’re not cut out for it, when in reality it’s usually a sign they’re right where they need to be.
I’ll continue yelling this from whatever rooftop I have access to: stop leaving at the first sign of discomfort and let yourself build competence instead!
Clear Standards to Level Up
And while we’re at it, here’s something else I’ll continue yelling about but since you can’t hear me, I’ll just type it out in ALL CAPS so you can get the full effect:
STOP RENEGOTIATING EVERYTHING, EVERY SINGLE DAY.
All caps really does have a certain ‘punch’, doesn’t it? 😉 But seriously, this is where so much progress quietly gets sabotaged.
The inner dialogue starts sounding like this: Should I work out at home or go to the gym? Should I push today or back off? Should I stick to the plan or change it because today feels different?
None of these questions are inherently wrong, but when every choice turns into a debate, it drains energy. Before you know it, you’ve talked yourself out of doing the very work that would move you forward.
For context, this was me for a long time, fifteen years of floundering, if you need a refresher, see the beginning of this post.
What actually helps is having clear standards ahead of time. And if you want to level up, that starts with having a goal and allowing that goal to guide your decisions. Not rigid rules, just a filter you can run decisions through when you’re tired, emotional, or overwhelmed.
Instead of asking, “What do I feel like doing?” the question becomes, “What moves me closer to my goal today, given what I realistically have to give?”
When you decide from that place, a lot of the noise disappears and you stop spiraling, second-guessing and you stop restarting everytime something feels hard.
The hard, beautiful and incredibly liberating truth is this: you don’t need more information or motivation, you need fewer restarts and fewer daily negotiations with yourself.
This is why I love working with people who are willing to do the work, the ones who are done second-guessing their progress and are ready to go all in on themselves, even when it’s uncomfortable, unglamorous, and not perfect. That’s where everything changes, and I’m here for it.
