I’m scared to start blogging again. I’m scared to start shooting weddings again. I’m scared to share my story. I’m scared to pursue my other business ideas. I’m scared to share my struggles.
I’m scared so much more than I’m sure.
I’m scared to put myself out there again. What if I quit halfway through? What if I can’t handle the workload? Where do I even start? What if blogging really is a dying breed in the land of Internet? What do I talk about? Do I really have to choose one thing? Is it possible to be a creative AND profitable entrepreneur? Am I doing this right? How do I explain everything that has happened over the last few years? What if I don’t like it anymore? What if I say all the wrong things? Will this really help my business? How much is too much sharing? Where do I draw the line? What if no one cares? Is this a waste of time? What if change my mind all over again? What will they think?
First of all, I have no idea who THEY are, maybe the Internet police or something? Second, this is a small example of the “conversations” that happen in my head very often. But I read somewhere that successful entrepreneurs are always a little bit scared so maybe I’m on the right track because fear and I are on a first name basis.
It’s hard to put this out there because I feel like there is so much back story that I need to tell you about in order for any of this to make sense… like the time I deleted over 344 blog posts because I wanted to “start fresh” and then almost immediately regretted my decision. Or like the time we moved to Hawaii and my business had a mid-life crisis. Or when I accepted the fact that I am a multi-passionate entrepreneur (definitely multi-passionate, still working on the entrepreneur part).
Clearly there’s a lot to catch up on and if this is your first time visiting my blog I promise I’m only a hot mess half of the time so I hope you stick around. For too long I’ve been trying to find the best “strategy” to organize my thoughts and share my story on this blog but I’m over trying to do it perfectly.
I miss writing, I miss reading, I miss shooting, I miss sharing and I miss dreaming out loud.
So starting today I’m choosing to START DOING these things. I’m going to write, read, shoot, share and dream even if I have to dance with fear. I’m going to continue pursuing my creative and business endeavors with all the passion that exists within me. The questions coated with fear that have held me back for so long will remain unanswered for the time being but today I decide that they will no longer control me.